http://www.nbc6.net/family/1876504/detail.html

NBC6.net (Florida)
8 January 2003

Family

Conflict With Ex-Wife Limits Dad's Involvement
Researcher: Many Men Don't Know Role After Divorce

We've all heard about deadbeat dads, but sometimes other factors prevent
divorced fathers from spending more time with their children. 

A study of divorced fathers revealed that conflict with their ex-wives
can profoundly reduce fathers' involvement in their children's lives. 

The Ohio State University researchers found that lower levels of
involvement between children and fathers who don't have custody were
linked to ongoing conflict with the children's mothers. A lack of clarity
in what role the father should take after divorce also hindered
involvement, as did geographical distance. 
 
"I think we need to encourage more couples to use mediation during
divorce and afterwards to help resolve some of the conflicts," said
Patrick McKenry, professor of human development and family science at
Ohio State University's College of Human Ecology. "That will help each
parent feel that they're being treated fairly and reduce the chances of
ongoing conflict." 
 
McKenry co-authored the study with Randall Leite of Bowling Green State
University. Their results were published in a recent issue of the Journal
of Family Issues. 

The issue is important because children whose fathers maintain strong
involvement with them have a better sense of well-being, the researchers
said. Also, involved fathers are also more likely to continue paying
child support. 

Fathers in general often get a bad rap after divorce, McKenry said,
sometimes labeled as "deadbeat dads" on one hand or "Disneyland dads" on
the other. Also, society tends to assume that if a father cares about his
children, he will maintain contact -- but that assumption ignores how
difficult it can be to maintain a relationship when fathers and children
live apart, the researchers said. 

To study the issue, the researchers examined data from the National
Survey of Families and Households. 

The researchers examined responses from the fathers regarding frequency
of contact with their children; the influence fathers felt they had in
their children's lives; the satisfaction fathers felt in their role as
parents and how important they felt that role was; how well-defined the
father's role was established in legal agreements; and their geographic
distance from their children. 

The fathers were also asked how much conflict they had with their
ex-wives over issues such as where the child lived, how the child was
raised, money spent on the child, the father's visits with the child, and
the father's contribution to child support. They rated their levels of
disagreement from "no conflict" to "a great deal of conflict." 

The researchers found that the level of parental conflict directly
affected the amount of involvement fathers had with their children, and
indirectly affected the level of satisfaction these men had in their
roles as fathers. It appeared that the less decision-making ability the
fathers had in relation to their children's lives, the more dissatisfied
the fathers were. 

"Our results suggest that conflict with a child's mother not only
directly influences the father's involvement with the child, but also is
an important factor in the degree of satisfaction he experiences in his
role as a father," McKenry said. 

Part of the problem is that many men have no idea how to be fathers when
their children live in another household, McKenry said. 

"Some men need a wife playing a 'gatekeeper' role in their involvement
with children," he said. Others see the role of "father" as defined as a
residential parent and simply aren't sure how the role changes when they
no longer live with their children. 

"I think it's clear we really haven't done a good job in preparing men
for the father role," McKenry said. He said he would like to see more
family life education geared to boys and men to help them learn more
about parenthood. He also would like to see more elaborate parent
education courses offered during and after divorce to help men learn how
to parent on their own.

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Discussion - Add your observations & comments:
 
How Can Divorced Parents Stay Involved With Kids?