June 27, 2003

House Courts of Justice Committee

Summary:

Over the past several months, during my ongoing child custody and

support case, I have learned beyond any doubt that the Commonwealth of

Virginia sees very little importance in the parental influence of

fathers on their children. In child custody cases, unless there is

provable physical, drug, or alcohol abuse by the mother, the father gets

a standard visitation of every other weekend, one day a week if he's

lucky, and a few or three weeks during the summer. But that's not the

biggest problem.

The biggest problem is that after the father's done paying the unGodly

amount of child support the Virginia State Guidelines in Child Support

call for, he's lucky if he has enough of his wages left to live in a

dwelling suitable to have his children in during their visitation. If

somehow he does, it's very unlikely he will be able to afford to do much

with his children because most fun things that people go out of the

house to do cost money. This fact is wholeheartedly acknowledged when

it comes to the mother, but not with the father. The father's influence

obviously doesn't mean a thing to the Commonwealth of Virginia. I know

this firsthand because I'm currently a new victim of this, and I am more

than a little upset about it. It needs to change, and change fast.

Background:

I do not drink or do any drugs, and have done nothing to anyone which

should cause me to lose any parental rights of our two children. In

fact, I am an excellent father, if I must say so myself. Karl is 2-1/2

years old, and Kayleigh is only 5 weeks. I do not desire shared custody

of Kayleigh at this time because of her age, but I desire shared (half)

custody of Karl. I desire to work up to shared (half) custody of

Kayleigh by the time she is weaned, or shortly thereafter. I want more

than anything to be a good father, and I feel that being allowed to do

so is a God given right which I have done nothing to lose.

I am going to leave out the nasty details of our failed marriage, but I

will write that I have a clear conscience, and my conscience works fine.

Problem:

On June 18, 2003, at 9:00, in Chesapeake Circuit Court, with Judge

Kushner presiding, I was given a child custody and support order which

may very well prevent me from being anywhere near a good father to

either of our kids. At the very least, it will make it extremely

difficult. I want more than anything else to be a good father to our

kids, and the Commonwealth of Virginia is making this extremely

difficult, if not impossible. I see this clearly as denying me my God

given parental rights, and for no good reason what-so-ever.

I did not agree to it, but I was given visitation of Karl on every other

weekend from Friday at 4:30 pm till Sunday at 7:00 pm, and every Tuesday

from 4:30 pm till Wednesday at 7:15 am. I have him for 3 nonconsecutive

weeks during the summer, and my wife has 2 consecutive weeks during the

summer. I see Kayleigh while picking up/dropping off Karl. I was also

ordered to pay $1,100.00 per month in child support, and my lawyer,

Atty. James Wise, told me it will go up to about $1,250.00, for day

care, after my wife comes off maternity leave and returns to work. I

have been ordered to pay $2,200.00 in back child support, and my wife's

lawyer is trying to make me pay as much as she can before agreeing to

have my wife take her name off the title to the house. I owned the

house prior to even knowing my wife.

I can claim neither child as a tax exemption, but she can claim both. I

can claim none of the child support or day care expense as a tax

deduction, but she can claim all of the day care expense even though I'm

paying for all of it and quite a bit more. My lawyer told me the

following. Our tax 'status' in this respect can only be changed when

the divorce becomes final. Since the case is contested over child

custody, someone will have to move to have it heard before a

commissioner, unless my wife and I both agree to have the custody part

of it heard before Juvenile Court. The person who moves for it will

have to pay the court costs, which are very expensive if heard by a

commissioner. A ball park figure is $5,000.00 minimum. The

commissioner may or may not order the costs to be split between us.

My wife is happy with things the way they are now. She has no desire to

move for it to be heard by a commissioner or by Juvenile Court. She

told me this yesterday.

If I'd have been given 90 days per year visitation of Karl, as

determined by state guidelines, my custodial type expenses would have

been taken into consideration. My child support payments would have

been reduced. But guess how many days per year my visitation comes out

to, as determined by state guidelines? 89 days. Yes, 89 days. That is

because for the non-custodial parent, on days which I have him overnight

but not for 24 hours, it only 'counts' as half a day. So my Tuesdays

only 'count' for half days because I'm the non-custodial parent. It

certainly appears to me as though Judge Kushner knew exactly how much

visitation he could give me without my child support expenses being

considered in any way, and for some reason he made sure that he did not

give me that much visitation. Does this sound good, fair, and just to

My wife makes approximately $57,000.00 per year, and I make

approximately $57,000.00 per year. The child support that I have been

ordered to pay is very close to half of what I make. I tithe 10% to a

church, and live in a 1,080 square foot house in Bowers Hill, with a

$962.00 per month house payment on a 15 year mortgage. I have explored

every option that I know of, and I still have not come up with a way to

be able to afford to keep the house, or even afford more than about

$300.00 per month rent. It's simple mathematics.

I explored taking a hardship withdrawal from my Thrift Savings Plan,

which is the bulk of my retirement, in order to reduce the principle

when I refinance. I have had my TSP contributions reduced, cancelled my

allotments for vehicle repair and Karl's college, and spoken with other

divorced fathers who have also been destroyed financially via the

Commonwealth of Virginia's State Guidelines in Child Support. It is

enough to make a man do things he ought not do, and it needs to be

experienced to fully understand just how bad it is.

My house is one of the few 'constants' in my son Karl's life. My wife

moved him three times in fourteen months, starting when he was fourteen

months old. I am trying to find a way to keep this constant in Karl's

life, but the custody and visitation I was given, combined with Virginia

State Guidelines in Child Support, are making it extremely difficult if

not impossible. If I somehow manage to keep it and go deeply into debt

on a credit card, I could very well lose my job due to loss of security

clearance.

Conclusion:

Our country as a whole is rapidly becoming fatherless, and we are

suffering terribly because of it. We have an approximate 50% divorce

rate in this country these days, the highest in the world. Therefore,

if the Commonwealth of Virginia were to do whatever it takes to make it

so that fathers are allowed shared custody of children who are weaned,

and approximately two years of age, in child custody cases, it would go

an incredibly long way towards correcting this terrible problem, at

least at the state level. If you agree, I challenge you with helping to

make it happen in any way that you can. I'm sure it will require the

perseverance of key people, and I don't even know who they are, so I am

sending this letter out to all of my state delegates.

A reply will be greatly appreciated.

Craig A. Yohn

Cc: Clerk of Judge Kushner, Atty. James Wise