I REMEMBER DADDY
My Daddy had tears in his eyes when he knelt down in front of me and my
sister. "I have to talk to you," he said, trying to keep from crying. "Me
and Mommy are getting divorced. I have to ask each of you who you want to
live with--me or Mom."
My sister, just eleven months younger than me, said, "I want to live
with Mommy!"
"Oh, Daddy!" I sobbed as I wrapped my little arms around his strong neck,
"I want to live with you!"
By this time, both of us were crying uncontrollably. I kissed my
Daddy's tearstained cheeks, then ran up to my bedroom and threw myself on the
bed, still sobbing. So many thoughts were going through my little-girl
brain...I knew that my mother had been cheating on my father, as she'd left
me, the oldest of four, at home many a night, in charge of my siblings.
She'd tell me, "If Daddy calls, just tell him I'm out walking the dog."
Well, one night my wonderful Daddy came home early, only to find that my
mother wasn't home with us. He asked me if I knew where she was...I broke
out crying, and told him that she'd been going out every night. I may have
been young, but I wasn't stupid! I knew what she was up to! And obviously,
so did he after our talk. He asked her about it and she admitted that she
had been sneaking out to be with this guy. My Daddy was devastated! I guess
it was soon after that when they talked about divorce. Anyway, as I lay on
my bed crying, I wondered why my sister wanted to live with my mother instead
of my Daddy, who was always so good to us. I worried about me and my sister
being apart, as we were like twins and did just about everything together.
The only exception was that I was a tomboy and preferred to play ball in the
streets and school-yards of NYC with the boys, while she preferred to hang
out with the girls and play with dolls. Still, I couldn't bear the thought
of us being separated. So many memories flashed through my mind!
I remembered how Daddy used to come home from work when we were younger
with penny-candies in his pocket...it was a game we played. He knew that we
knew the candy was there. He'd hang his coat up, then leave the room. We'd
sneak in and take the candy from his pockets. Suddenly, Mr. Monster appeared
with a towel draped across his head and shoulders. "Grrr! Who took my
candy?" the monster would growl, as he carried us onto the bed. We'd laugh
as we pulled the towel off of Mr. Monster. "We didn't take it, Daddy!" we'd
say as we wrestled with the monster. "Oh--OK then," he'd reply as we
giggled, then played games with Daddy. Daddy also loved to sing to us--we
knew Abba-Dabba Honeymoon, all of Hank Williams' songs, and so many other
'oldies' too numerous to mention by heart! Daddy would sleep for a while,
then go to his second job--at one point, he'd held 3 jobs so he could support
his family, but he always found the time to spend quality time with us.
I remembered Daddy patiently teaching me to ride a bike. I was a
little scared that I might fall, but felt secure knowing that Daddy was right
there to catch me if I fell.
I remembered Daddy watching from the window of our third floor apartment
in Brooklyn, NY. I held my stickball bat tight and yelled, "Hey Daddy--watch
how high I can hit the ball!" He watched as I hit a homer, and I'll never
forget the look of pride on his face as he stood at the window clapping.
I remembered what a great Daddy and Husband he was. With all of her
faults, I loved my mother, (and still do) but I knew then that I wanted to
live with my Daddy--he was the best Daddy a girl could ask for!
A few days later, Daddy told us that he and Mommy were going to stay
together--they'd decided to go to marriage counseling and work things out.
Boy, was I ever relieved! I couldn't bear the thought of our family breaking
up!
Mommy changed her ways, and stayed home with us. Daddy continued to be
the wonderful husband and father he'd always been.
More than 30 years have gone by since then, and I remember more about my
Daddy.
I remember Daddy's pride when he attended my High School Graduation when
I was 18.
I remember Daddy warning me that my new boyfriend was no good when I was
19.
I remember Daddy holding my hand as I lay in the Emergency Room after
the boyfriend he'd warned me about punched me in the face and broke my nose.
Daddy didn't say, "I TOLD YOU SO!" but I bet he was thinking it.
I remember Daddy at my wedding when I married my ex...I wondered why
Daddy didn't seem very pleased.
I remember Daddy's pain when Mommy left him for a younger man when I was
in my 20's.
I remember Daddy's pain when Mommy filed for divorce...he loved her SO
much!
I remember me and my three kids living with Daddy because my ex didn't
want us to go overseas with him.
I remember making Daddy's coffee every night when he woke up to go to
his night job.
I remember waiting an hour, then calling his job to make sure he'd made
it there OK MANY a night!
I remember the sadness in Daddy's eyes when I told him my ex wanted me
and the kids to join him.
I remember Daddy's joy when he and Mommy remarried...like I said, he
loved her so much!
I remember Daddy's tears when I called him from overseas after a severe
beating from my ex. If Daddy could have been there, he would have.
I remember sending Daddy my paychecks from overseas and asking him to
hold onto them until I had enough saved up to escape my ex.
I remember Daddy meeting me and my kids at the airport in NYC, and how
happy he was to see us and that we'd made it safely.
I remember Daddy's pride when I bought a house in Florida, where my
children were born.
I also remember Daddy's pride when I went to college, as he quit school
as a teen--times were hard back then, but he joined the ARMY during the
Korean War, was promoted many times, and was even offered a commission to be
an Officer! He was good, and they knew it, but he did his 4 years then got
out.
I remember when Daddy flew down to Florida, even though he had a fear of
flying and had never flown before...but I was dying.
I remember my Daddy leaning over me with tears in his eyes as I lay in
the ICU, about to undergo emergency brain surgery for a cerebral aneurysm.
I remember Daddy singing to me, then telling me that I couldn't
die...that he was supposed to go before me! I told him not to worry because
I don't give up THAT easily!
I remember Daddy's hugs and kisses after the neurosurgeon told him that
I'd miraculously made it through the surgery and that I was fine.
I remember Daddy moved to Florida soon after that...of course, he drove!
Life was great! My brother remained in NY, but Daddy, Mommy, and my 2
sisters were here...my family was here!
I remember Daddy's happiness when I and my current husband showed up at
his home and surprised him with the fact that we'd just gotten married! He
was very pleased that I'd finally found a NICE guy!
I remember Daddy's tears when his first-born grandson, my only son, took
his life at age 21 in 1998.
I remember that through his grief, he was there for me.
I remember how Daddy couldn't understand why DCF took 3 of his
great-grandchildren into their custody for no credible reason at all in 2000.
He was heartbroken.
I remember Daddy's grief because our family was unjustly destroyed, and
because he was no longer able to see or even talk to 3 of his
great-grandchildren.
I remember Daddy's further grief when my sister (the one 11 months
younger than me) died on my birthday, due to complications from breast cancer
she'd been treated for. After treatment, they told her she was fine. She
crossed over on Oct. 29th, 2001 at age 47.
I remember Daddy driving her to all of her doctor appointments while she
was going through treatment.
I remember Daddy's grief at the loss of his daughter.
I remember his warm arms around me and the tears streaming down his face
when I told him that I understood what he was feeling, and that I would
always be there for him if he needed me.
And that's what it's all about. My Daddy is in his 70's, does volunteer
work, as I do also, and like me, has a great sense of humor, is loving and
compassionate and through all of the grief and injustice he's experienced,
somehow manages to go on. And he's STILL the best Daddy anyone could ask
for! THANKS DADDY FOR MAKING ME WHO I AM! I LOVE YOU!
By Irene Renee Petit (copyright, Jan. 9, 2003)
Permission to forward granted by Irene Renee Petit
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